How’s it going, everybody? As I approach the ninth anniversary of DC’s Take this month, it is surprising to realize that this has been the longest job—or hobby—I’ve ever held. Being a movie reviewer of any kind was something I was passionate about, as I wanted to share my love for film wherever I could. It started with my own writing column in college during my sophomore year and carried me through the end of 2019. Since then, I have continued to run this blog, expressing my love for them whenever I can, and I hope what I have to say persuades readers in some way. In a few days, I will reach a milestone by turning 30 years old and realize that I have been pursuing my dreams for over a decade. And so, with a heavy heart, I’ve reached a point where I’m deciding to step away from reviewing movies.

This decision didn’t happen overnight; it has been a long time coming. Over the past couple of years, changes have contributed to this choice. First, I haven’t been as consistent with posting reviews as I was at the start of 2020, when I didn’t have enough time to write them right away after leaving the theater. Even when I have time during work, it leaves me questioning my own writing and whether I was expressing my thoughts clearly. My trips to the theater have also become less frequent, either because I have not been finding a convenient time and have been waiting for its streaming release at home, or because I have been dealing with unexplained physical issues — my feet have been in inconsistent pain for a while (paresthesia?). Combining that with the lack of motivation, it seemed like the right time.

Additionally, the landscape of film criticism has shifted, too. Indianapolis rarely receives early screenings as it once did. Universal is the only studio that welcomes the public, but their experiences can be hit-or-miss. It has become difficult to see a film on a Thursday afternoon and have a review ready the next day, which was one of the reasons I had to step away from Film Yap. Writing takes time—usually at least 24 hours—to organize my points and ensure my thoughts sound cohesive. And lately, I have been dealing with persistent writer’s block when trying to articulate my thoughts on several recent releases. Sometimes, nowadays, when I leave the theater, I just want to relax and take it in without taking out my notebook or laptop to write down what I immediately thought.

Somewhere along the way, the spark faded. That’s not to say I’m abandoning film as a passion, but this is a vision of my life I thought would’ve evolved by now. Even the online creators who used to influence me have changed; I watch their videos less now because their enthusiasm feels forced and their insights are no longer as helpful as they once were. The whole space, especially on YouTube, has become more hollow and nearly unbearable, filled with pretentious hot takes nobody asked for. Writing has always been my outlet because it allows me to express my thoughts clearly, especially regarding this part of my career. Even if I had started five years ago, my efforts would likely have been overshadowed by other writers and creators who mastered the craft in ways I never quite did.

Honestly, there are some areas of my life I hoped would turn out differently. This lifelong hobby, as meaningful as it has been, doesn’t fully satisfy my professional aspirations as I try to grow into them. As I get older, I want to allow myself permission to search for a new purpose and focus on my mental health. With my twenties now behind me, there’s so much I haven’t done or accomplished that makes me very out of the loop with everyone I know, from friends who moved on from school to even my family. Sometimes, it’s almost reached the point where the Asperger’s part of my mind knows it’s a topic I go on about for hours, but now it doesn’t feel as exciting because it never sounded interesting coming from me.

For now, I’ll do my best to write as many reviews as I can before the end of December. And after this unexpected hiatus, The Odyssey will be the first review back, with everything else I’ve already seen at the start of the summer movie season to follow after. Afterward, I’m giving myself space to rediscover what inspires me and figure out what comes next.

Overall, to everyone who continued to share my posts or check in on my site over the years, thank you. Your support has meant more than you know. My timing hasn’t always been perfect, but your presence has made this journey something I’ll carry with me.