The Snowman Review

Mister The Snowman. You could’ve been a great movie. I gave you a chance, and you missed the opportunity to be smart. I mean, if I were to watch this again or walking a mile in -4 temperature, the latter would be at least entertaining.

Based on Jo Nesbø’s bestselling novel, Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is a Norwegian detective who tries to find the identity of a killer who uses snowmen as his calling card.

Michael Fassbender in The Snowman (2017)
This really had the potential of becoming a good thriller as the trailer and premise actually sounded creepy enough even with a title The Snowman. Plus, with famous Swedish director Tomas Alfredson (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Let the Right One In) and talents that include Fassbender and Ferguson might make for a chilling on our hands. This was a massive letdown.

The point of a movie that’s supposed to be suspenseful is to be… suspenseful! Not a single moment of The Snowman had a sense of thrills because of its idiotic way of being sneaky with the film’s use of putting in the score to fill up the tension. And am I really supposed to be scared by a snowman? Maybe Alfredson was trying to make it like a David Fincher style movie like Se7en (a better movie that I could’ve been watching). What’s the motivation behind the killer doing what he does? I still don’t know.

And while not every book adaptation is good, this was a good example by a longshot. The story is proven by a lot of incoherence with it becoming boring and just waiting for something exciting to happen. There are a few subplots in here and it really doesn’t mesh into me give any attention to. Many moments had me confused with its flashbacks with characters that I can’t tell if it’s taken place now or later. By the time the end credits starts, totally felt like so many questions need to be answered. Even the editing was noticeably terrible.  

Fassbender as Harry Hole (yes, that’s actually his name) couldn’t give less of a crap with this performance. We don’t know anything about his character except he’s a chain smoker, drinks, sleep, and wants to connect with his son. He’s just unlikable. But that doesn’t give us the facts that we care about him throughout the movie. And as for Ferguson’s character Detective Katrine Bratt, there’s little development about her. The relationship the both of them are trying to convey is nonexistent.

Val Kilmer shows up in this for an odd reason. I didn’t even know he was in this until his name came up in the opening credits. And he doesn’t even enough if he’s being filmed on the account that he was terrible looking very different like he aged maybe because of his health issues and possibly dubbed all his lines of dialogue.

There were reports about the movie not being complete, which explains why the story is very incoherent. Alfredson said he blamed the short film schedule as he said 10-15% of the script wasn’t shot during filming. If that’s his excuse, then why couldn’t you push the release not to making a better movie. You can tell that moments or storylines that are missing. How pathetic is that? Just thinking about the trailer, there is a scene that isn’t even in the final cut. For that matter, why is Martin Scorsese an Executive Producer on this?

The Snowman is atrocious from beginning to end. Alfredson took this source material too seriously with a grim tone that made this cold and uninspired despite some good cinematography. The fear inside me was hoping this wasn’t gonna end up as this year’s The Girl on the Train. And I was right on the noise with that prediction. Cancel that sequel because this is a franchise that’s never going to happen.

The Snowman failed spectacularly with a thriller with hollow, boring suspense wasting immense potential.

Grade: D-

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